This may seem like the oddest topic for this primarily business series. I think it is one of the most important and relevant for women as well as men, married or single. To ‘woo’ is, ‘To attempt to gain the love, favour or support of someone.’ When you woo someone, you tell them, ‘You are special to me.’ Today in Woo Your Wife (Your Boss, Your Family), we will cover how to keep a marriage alive from both the male and female perspective, how to attract a partner if you are single and how to even get a new or better job. Wives, husbands, boy and girlfriends, bosses and jobs require a little wooing.

GIFT. Any suitor worth his salt will not show up empty handed to pick up a date. Flowers are the most common. It is not what you bring, it is the thought you are bringing something to say, ‘You are special to me.‘

In my marriage, after years of my bride asking me, `How much was it?` to the flowers I brought home, I stopped bringing flowers. I forgot the point was not flowers, the point was to say, `You are special to me.`

Now, I try to bring her me. I sit down with her and ask her about her day. I pour her a glass of wine. I take over with the children and give her a break. These actions say, ‘You are special to me.’ better than flowers.

Even a boss likes to know, ‘You are special to me.’ Taking the time to clean up a nagging project or finishing a project in record time is a wonderful way to convey that message to a boss. Woo your boss and bosses` boss by being the best employee you can be.

Question: What are you doing for the key people in your life that tells them, ‘You are special to me.’?

TIME. Spending time with your spouse tells him / her you care. If you have time for work, service clubs, church / mosque / temple, friends, shopping but no time for the spouse one-on-one, what does that say? Start blocking out time for the people that matter most to you. It says to them, `You are special to me.`

What to advance your career? Start investing time now in areas related to your career to learn them, grow in them, make connections with the right people and position yourself as a leader. Woo the career you want.

LISTEN. Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. Listen. It says, `You are special to me.`

Notice there is no advice given or instructions to be followed. Why? Much of the time, people tells us what they need to unburden themselves of and listening is the way we contribute. Most often, only if asked, should be share options for fixing what ails them. Woo people, do not burden them.

Today is the perfect time to start wooing your wife, husband, boss, parents or anyone else you deem important to you. Show them you love them. Show them you care. Find a good better way to tell them, ‘You are special to me.’

My bride and I attended Alan Yip’s Mind Edge ‘Funtastic Parenting Programme #2′ and were blown away. What an amazing course. I told Alan it was like a full year of child psychology in 4.5 hours.

Several BEHAVIOUR KEYS we learned also relate to managing our ‘children’ at work. So whether you are a parent, a manager or a group leader, here are some keys and quick solutions to put into practice NOW.

KEY 1: If someone’s behaviour leaves you annoyed or frustrated, that person is probably seeking attention. Hey… it’s better to get yelled at then ignored.

Solution: Do NOT give special attention to the behaviour. Find better ways to give them attention… catch them doing something right.

KEY 2: If you feel challenged, it’s probably a power struggle.

Solution: Strive to understand them… what they want and need. Then find a way to help them get it.

KEY 3: If you feel hurt by something said or done, their motivator is probably revenge.

Solution: Avoid retaliation! As Jim Rohn taught me years ago, “The best revenge in the world is massive success.” Strive to understand why they felt the need to hurt you or the group and take revenge. Sit down and talk to rebuild the relationship. Rise above he conflict. On the ‘high road’, you’ll never get stuck in the muck.

KEY 4: If you feel like giving up, chances are the child or employee is trying to escape or withdraw (unresponsive, won’t participate, avoids meetings and group activities, nose buried in the TV, computer, book).

Solution: They need baby steps to bring them back into the fold.  Acknowledge any positive efforts made with cards, notes, emails, text messages or possitive comments. If you can’t say something nice to this person or child, better to say nothing at all. Never give up!

For more information on Alan’s awesome programmes, check out his Web site:
http://www.mindedge.com.sg

Smile Maker: The Judge’s Revenge From When He Was a Boy

A traffic violator answering a summons in court for speeding was asked by the judge about his occupation. He said, “I’m a school teacher.”

The judge smiled and said, “I’ve waited for years to get a school teacher in here. Now go to that table and write, ‘I will not speed.’ 500 times!”

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If you have an interest in professional speaking or speaking professionally, I suggest you attend Asia Professional Speakers Singapore (APSS) Annual Convention Saturday 8th May. It will be AMAZING!

Register with the club secretariat

Ms Maureen Da Costa

O: 65-67779843 l M: 65-96855602

www.asiaspeakers.org

Got comments or questions about attitude adjustment? Just leave your comments here.