3 Ways to Better Listening
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LISTENING is such a common thing we rarely think about it. Most people confuse the physical act of `hearing` with true listening. Fact, good communication is more about listening than speaking.
Dr. Lyman K. Steil, founder of the International Listening Association and Author of `Listening Leaders` is a mentor of mine, teaching me volumes about listening. Here are 3 easy ways to be a better listener.
Step 1: Predispose yourself to listen. Relax and absorb. Be truly interested in what the person is saying. Think of why that person is saying what they are saying as well as what they are trying to say. Be open. Avoid interrupting. Listen with empathy as well as logic and reason.
Step 2: Prepare for listening. If you are going to discuss a hot issue, write your thoughts down first so you are not struggling to remember your points while the other person is speaking. Keep the paper and pen handy to add more thoughts or responses rather than struggle to remember them when the other person is speaking.
In the movie `As Good as it Gets`, Helen Hunt`s character pulls the car she is driving off the road when Greg Kinnear`s character is about to share an intimate life story so she can give him her eye contact and undivided attention. THAT is preparing for listening. NOT, `Yes, I`m listening dear… hold on, I need to take this call, sorry.`
Step 3: Proactive listening is best. Take notes. Ask the speaker to slow down if he or she is going too fast for you to catch it all. Ask the speaker to repeat what you missed, to clarify points or to go into greater depth on some points.
Get affirmation from the speaker by restating what you thought you heard. `To make sure I understand you correctly, you are telling me I need to be more flexible in regards to the deadlines for project B. Is that correct?` Doing so serves two purposes. One, it ensures you heard correctly. Two, it lets the speaker know you were listening.
Now think about the last argument you had with someone. Were you listening? Was the other person? When two people really listen… they rarely argue. They usually end up communicating effectively.
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[...] 3 Ways to Better Listening by Michael A. Podolinsky “Think about the last argument you had with someone. Were you listening? Was the other person? When two people really listen… they rarely argue. They usually end up communicating effectively…LISTENING is such a common thing we rarely think about it. Most people confuse the physical act of `hearing` with true listening. Fact, good communication is more about listening than speaking…” [...]